They say the idle mind is the devil’s workshop, but if that means having England footballers being fit into club cricket stereotypes, let’s have more of it please.

We’ve seen what each of the Premier League managers and the England Test XI would be like when viewed through club cricket prisms – now, it’s the turn of England footballers.

That is thanks to Will, aka @willcrcknell on Twitter, who has jotted down, quite accurately we think, what each of the current squad of England footballers would be like if they were club cricketers.

We have our favourites. Sample Jordan Pickford, who is that guy who, “gets a questionable lbw and throws bat through changing room window. Retires forever but will be back in a fortnight.” Or Harry Maguire, who “scores 65 including some lofty blows off seamers but [gets] stumped as soon as spinner comes on.”

Our favourite is Harry Kane though. Scroll down for that, and the rest of the list featuring England footballers as club cricket stereotypes.

2 Rice: WK, joined club 2 years ago after previous side relegated. Not really good enough for 1st XI, rumours he keeps his place as knows skipper from school. Sees shine off new ball before edging behind trying to up the rate. Wants to fit in, stays late at bar buying jugs. pic.twitter.com/z0E3pR5MJR

— Will (@willcrcknell) December 10, 2020

4 Mount (C): Turns up in linen shirt, Louis V shades and suede loafers. Can’t shake association with his club treasurer father who coached his colts side and still gives him throwdowns. Decent batter, bats 4 if side off to a flyer but drops down order if doing a bit early doors pic.twitter.com/tTmUP3i8EA

— Will (@willcrcknell) December 10, 2020

6 Maddison: Reckons he’s the best fielder at club and exclusively fields at point. Bats 6, looks a million dollars playing back-to-back cover drives for 4 before plinking to mid off. Cigarette as soon as he takes his pads off and already has a jug in before the last wicket falls. pic.twitter.com/c3YcTigPEv

— Will (@willcrcknell) December 10, 2020

8 Arnold: Colt leggie with rocket of an arm. Loves a run out and breaking partnerships with mystery googly. Can hold a bat but usually holes out after cameo run-a-ball 30. Collected at 8:30 by parents after discovered drunkenly exchanging numbers with one of the mums at the bar. pic.twitter.com/xz3n8kPzNS

— Will (@willcrcknell) December 10, 2020

10 Rashford: Opening quick, archetypal ‘too nice to be a fast bowler’. Helps groundsman prepare wicket, volunteers at foodbanks and runs a scheme promoting cricket in state schools. Celebrates victories with team before politely excusing himself after the first round of jaegers pic.twitter.com/PKcKrnYuzc

— Will (@willcrcknell) December 10, 2020

11 Gomez: Mercurial fast bowler – plays one match, misses next three with recurring hamstring issue. Usually hidden on third man boundary, has to underarm ball in after elbow injury from being overbowled as teenager. Cant bat but huge cheer when edges one through the slips for 4 pic.twitter.com/ZKCDSXs3ZU

— Will (@willcrcknell) December 10, 2020