England are in their chaos era, and the Ashes series opener is at Edgbaston. Did you really expect anything other than an eight-hour fever dream?

Before play had even begun, Mitchell Marsh made what could be his most dramatic contribution to the series when he sparked a frenzied rumour mill over Australia’s bowling line-up. Whether he knew that marking his bowling run-up in the team warm-up would cause such a commotion among eagled-eyed pundits is irrelevant. Many were sure that both Josh Hazlewood and Mitchell Starc would miss out on selection.

A small precursor of what was to come, and a solid two out of ten on the drama scale, given that Pat Cummins swiftly confirmed at the toss that Hazlewood would indeed be playing and Marsh’s four-year wait for a Test return would go on. But an appetite whetter on the day one anticipation hype-train nonetheless.

Cut to ball one, when the main script started to unfold. England fans have ingrained unresolved trauma from the first ball of Ashes series’ past. The image of Rory Burns’ leg-stump cartwheeling out of the Brisbane turf still sits close to the surface for many. That wound was given a glorious healing today when Zak Crawley gloriously drove a half-volley from Cummins for four. The roar from the Edgbaston crowd, as their beleaguered opener lifted the weight off their collective shoulders was as much relief as elation.

While Crawley piled on the runs in a typically new-England first session, the run rate at a slightly sluggish five-an-over compared to other flat tracks they’ve batted on, he also had his moment of fortune. Faced with a snorting delivery from Scott Boland, he edged through to the keeper but kept a straight face that any Las Vegas casino regular would be proud of, as the Australians failed to appeal. Then he turned to flash a self-satisfied, devilish grin as Boland oohed and aahed in the background.

Another talking point from the day was who took charge of Australia’s field placings. Steve Smith was the seemingly de-facto leader on the pitch (under-13 rules, he’s your best bat). However, in an odd move, the World Test Champions, who come into this fixture full of the confidence that brings, employed a deep point from the start. Mind you, it might’ve been vindicated if Travis Head had held onto a catch from Harry Brook.

Speaking of Brook, a look at the scorecard will tell you he was bowled by Nathan Lyon, middle-stump in actual fact. Expel any images of a beautiful piece of off-spin bowling, clipping to the top of the bails, from your mind. This was a horrible dismissal. The ball ricocheted off Brook’s thigh pad high into the air. No one knew where the ball was until it dropped down spun back into middle-peg.

Joe Root, however, was imperious today. On his way to a simply ridiculous 30th Test hundred, he treated everyone to another of his masterclasses in reverse-sweeping – ish.

Having reached fifty, he brought out the reverse to Nathan Lyon and was rewarded with a four. Why not try again? Hit on the back leg, plumb, out. Oh dear. But an immediate review showed a spike of glove. Excellent, let’s have another go, what’s that definition of madness again? Another reverse-sweep, four – that’s what he meant to do all along.

Having demonstrated his mastery of the reverse sweep, Root moved on to the reverse ramp. Off Lyon, right? No, off Boland. That sounds somewhat sensible, given Boland is the least pacey of the Australia bowlers. So much so, Alex Carey had been standing up to the stumps to him for most of the day. Challenge accepted, and another boundary ticked off. Now try Cummins, as in, Australia’s best bowler. Same result, down to third man for four.

Next into the beautiful madhouse was Moeen Ali, his first Test match in two years and a perfect situation to walk into. He played an innings that was almost too Moeen-like for us to hope for.

Having hit a four off Lyon to warm up, he set Cummins in his sights. A four through cover was followed by a glorious, if perhaps unintentional, hook for six. One run later, he was out – stumped trying to wallop Lyon to the Bull Ring in the distance.

If you hadn’t had your fill for the day, Root teed off as the clock approached 6pm. Two sixes and a four in the same over had the crowd ready for some fun-fuelled evening bashing. But, like a half-party-crasher, half-mad scientist, Ben Stokes called his men in. It would’ve been cruel if he hadn’t given the crowd a chance for 20 minutes of the Stuart Broad-David Warner pantomime.

So enraptured were the crowd and pundits with the audacity of Stokes’ tactics and the sight of Warner trying desperately to get off strike, that James Anderson not taking the new ball was almost unnoticed.

That’s Day One done. There’s 24 more of these to come. What will cricket’s advent calendar have in store tomorrow?

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