On a recent episode of the Yorkshire Cricket: Covers Off podcast, Tim Bresnan told the story of an elaborate – and slightly grim – prank he once played on England teammate Graeme Swann.

Bresnan explained how during a home ODI series against Australia, the Yorkshireman made best use of a master key he found in his room, presumably accidentally left there by a member of staff at the hotel.

“We’re in Durham playing Australia in a one-day series,” said Bresnan. “You know the Radisson across the bridge? We’re in there and I come back to my room after training, walked through the door and there’s a key card on my dresser. I thought, ‘That’s weird, I don’t remember leaving that there.’ I picked it up, tried the door and it’s worked. Then I tried next door and it worked, it let me in. It must have been a master key, one of the cleaner’s keys or something. You can only imagine the fun we could have had with this key.

“I said to Jimmy [Anderson], ‘What room you in mate?’ and he showed me which one it was and I was like, ‘There you go mate’ [and let him into his room]. He was like, ‘What, how did you just do that?’ and [told him about the] master key.

“So we waited for Swanny to leave for dinner and we go into his room and turn the mattress upside down, we put porn on the TV, turned it up full blast, took the batteries out of the remote, we stole all of his minibar, we cleaned out his minibar, we ordered some room service. Jimmy took a dump in the toilet, but a Joey-Squat reverse one and let it slide down the front of the bowl and it just stuck to the bowl. He went straight into his room to wipe himself up. We basically ransacked his room, chucked his wardrobe all over the bed and stuff like that and then we went for dinner.

“We’re walking across the bridge and just as we went across the bridge, down come the stairs Swanny and his wife. He’s gone out and… I don’t know. Sarah [Swann’s wife] must have been downstairs waiting for him to go to dinner – we didn’t have a clue that she was there. He was describing the scenes the next day, ‘I couldn’t get porn off the TV lads, I literally couldn’t get the porn off the TV. I got room service to come and make my bed and all three of us were stood there watching porn while she was making the bed up.'”