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The Ten

The Ten: Indecent exposures

by Wisden Staff 15 minute read

Ten times cricketers and other cricket-related individuals decided less was more, from streakers to ballsy county pros at club photographs.

10. Body paint

Blighted by injury, Australian cricketer Lee Carseldine decided to retire from first-class cricket in 2011 and concentrate on being a Twenty20 specialist. He then celebrated his subsequent move to Brisbane Heat in the unashamedly-in-your-face style that only a T20 specialist can pull off: by dousing himself in body paint – teal to match his side’s kit – popping on just a pair of speedos, walking around Brisbane’s Mount Coot-tha lookout and greeting holidaymakers. Why ever not?

9. Ballanced out

After the final day of England’s drawn Test against India at Trent Bridge in 2014, Gary Ballance chose to enjoy a little bit of what Nottingham’s nightlife had to offer. One or two sherbets later and Balance could be found dancing topless, swirling his shirt above his head, screaming, “I’m not a cricketer tonight. I’m just a drunken bastard”. His average before his wildman antics was impressive: 49.5. His average since is a less than stellar 27.46. Is there a link? Is there not a link? We’ll let you be the judge.

8. Supermarket sweep

Hands up who hasn’t got naked, run into a supermarket in Ashford and tried to buy a bottle of vodka? It’s become part of our culture, a rite of passage, if you will. During Hampshire 2nd XI’s match versus Kent 2nd XI in 2013, somebody – and we’re naming no names, predominantly because we don’t know who it was – did just that. The person in question was believed to be a Hampshire player but the internal investigation which followed that concluded no-one from the club was involved in the prank. Still, let’s not let the facts get in the way of a good story.

7. Pratting about

After some less than superb Ashes performances and some controversial semi-naked modeling shots, England all-rounder Chris Lewis wasn’t exactly the darling of the media. On the 1993/94 tour of the West Indies things got worse for him. Arriving in Antigua, Lewis asked teammate Devon Malcolm to shave off all his hair because of the searing heat. But, with the Caribbean sun beating down, Lewis suffered severe sunstroke. With no protection on his bonce throughout the week’s training, he had to withdraw ahead of the first warm-up match and was famously labelled by The Sun as the ‘prat without a hat’.

6. Bare cheek

Traditionally not one to lose his cool while out in the middle, Greg Chappell saw red when the third streaker of the day interrupted play at Auckland in 1977. Tasked with steering his side to safety having lost both openers cheaply, Chappell was edgily nudging Australia away from danger when the intruder ran past. Chappell grabbed his arm and spanked the man with his Gray-Nicolls bat. The police escorted the streaker away and normality was restored. Chappell’s concentration was broken, though, and he misheard Rick McCosker’s call for a single soon after the restart and was run out.

5. What a Sharma

Fans like to come up with unique ways to celebrate their heroes’ achievements and in the age of the internet and social media these gifts can be seen around the world in seconds. So, when Rohit Sharma scored a world-record 264 in an ODI against Sri Lanka, tributes from fanatical followers expectedly poured in. However, model Sofia Hayat caused quite the stir when she posted a nude picture of herself on Twitter in honour of his mammoth hitting, captioning the tweet: “Dedicating my nude shoot to Rohit Sharma for his historic score! Well done! This one is for you! Proud day for India!”

4. Brimson the flasher

Squad photos. Dull, right? Not if you’re Matthew Brimson. The former Leicestershire spinner jazzed up his county’s preseason snap ahead of the 2000 season by exposing his phallus. What a prankster! Unfortunately for Brimson nobody saw the offending organ until it was too late so the Leicestershire pages of that year’s Almanack were infused with a novel penisy charm. Cue red faces all round and an angry Wisden Almanack editor in the shape of Matthew Engel. “I think if you’re going to pull this kind of stunt, you need to be a more competent sportsman than Matthew Brimson – and, frankly, more impressively arrayed,” said Engel.

3. Baring it all

Cricketers aren’t used to being photographed in only their birthday suits, so Alastair Cook, Stuart Broad and James Anderson posing naked for Cosmopolitan magazine’s May 2008 issue came as quite a surprise. With merely a cricket bat to protect their modesty, the trio featured in the mag’s centre-page spread raising awareness for male cancer. It wasn’t actually a nudity debut for future England skipper Cook; he featured in a photoshoot with Emma Sayle and Natalie Sisson – both in just their underwear and body paint – for ‘The Art Of Sport’, a calendar by The Sisterhood looking to raise money for charity.

2. The hacker’s middle stump

Ian Botham has never been known to shy away from the limelight, but a little bit too much was on show in August when a tweet from his Twitter account displayed a photo of a penis with an accompanying message asking recipients to tell him what they were thinking. Botham had precedent for showing off his ‘old man’, writing in his autobiography how he unzipped his trousers when bowling to David Boon to try and put him off . Like his playing days, Botham went on the offensive after this snap, disputing the assertion that he posted the image, and putting it down to his account having been hacked.

1. “A freaker!”

Back in 1975, having been fired up by several pints of the Tavern’s best, oil-tanker chef Michael Angelow – not to be confused with the Renaissance artist or the ninja turtle – stripped off and daringly dashed across the Lord’s outfield. Egged on by a bunch of Australians he had recently befriended, and the promise of £20 for his antics, Angelow hopped over the hoardings and past the statuesque security guards. Hurtling toward the Nursery End, Angelow hurdled both sets of stumps to the amusement of the players and umpires before being escorted off at the Mound Stand. Immortalised by Test Match Special’s John Arlott as “a freaker” during commentary, Angelow never did get to keep the £20 after a magistrate’s court fined him the same amount for his nude display.

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