Aleem Dar, you can stick with your decisions

At that point, there was little clue of how silly things were about to get, that not one, not two, but all three of Babar Azam, Naseem Shah and Shaheen Shah Afridi would be out of the XI for the next Test, that Pakistan were actually going to go with the literal banter option of reusing the Multan pitch, and that it would be a Fakhar Zaman tweet, rather than everything else, that would somehow be deemed the thing that had brought Pakistan cricket into disrepute.

Not that the Dar Development isn’t still funny. It is, and not just because he had only a fortnight hence called time on his career as an umpire “to focus fully on my social and charity work”. It’s also because, on the face of it, it has actually worked. Of course, it’s hard to know exactly how much influence he had on decisions. A PCB selection meeting highlights video, a thing that exists for some reason, shows a full boardroom of polo-teed Pakistan legends pondering the squad for the second Test. Who is actually calling the shots here? Sarfaraz Ahmed makes a Zoom appearance, and even he was ‘rested’, like Babar, Naseem and Shaheen, though unlike them he hadn’t actually played a Test this year. Maybe he yawned at the wrong moment while on the video call.

Let’s assume it’s Aleem in charge of the whole thing, because it’s fun, and because it does make a certain amount of sense, at least in comparison to all the things that don’t make any sense. As the most capped Test and ODI umpire of all time, there might actually not be a human in existence to have seen as much top level cricket in as close a proximity as him, and it’s a job that is all about judgement, making calls and sticking to them. Through a 575-game international career as a match official, Dar proved himself as adept as anyone at getting it right in the big moments.

This was a big moment, and somehow Pakistan got almost every big call right. They pretty much had to as well, with the betting slip an almighty accumulator, the success of each gamble dependent on the others coming in. Had Pakistan not won the toss, England would have had first use of a surface that still stayed pretty dead for the first five sessions. Had it not been for Kamran Ghulam’s hundred on debut, England would have been batting early on day two in response to less than 300, rather than into its second session, meaning that, by the time the pitch finally, decisively turn after the tea break on that day, they would have been up close to or past Pakistan’s total. When the pitch did go, Pakistan needed bowlers with the skill and sense of occasion to make the most of it, and in Sajid Khan and Noman Ali, the first two bowlers to share all 20 wickets in a Test since 1972, they had the buddy cop duo to anchor the Hollywood franchise.

Those are the three faces of a famous Pakistan triumph. Sajid and Noman dovetailed beautifully, Sajid all energy and undercut, attacking the stumps and fizzing from the edge, twirling his moustache and celebrating kabaddi style, with Noman weathered and wily, five years Sajid’s senior and bringing all his experience to bear. Sajid was at England’s throats while Noman waited for them to come to him, content with three in the first innings before feasting on a flurry of sweeps and reverse-sweeps in the second.

As for Ghulam, imagine the build up to this game from his point of view. What must it have been like preparing for a Test debut, something he had worked towards his whole career, in the maelstrom of a Pakistan crisis? He wasn’t even in the squad for the first Test, and was parachuted in in place of the prince in the prime batting spot. Through no fault of his own, those among Pakistan’s fans aggrieved by Babar’s ousting would have been rooting for him to fail. Amidst that, he set to work, consummately attacking the spin and somehow surviving the reverse-swing. He will take some ousting from second-drop.

So is that it? Crisis averted? For now, at least. There’s a suggestion that this is the model, that Pakistan should play all their Tests on big turners, fast-bowling heritage be damned. There’s logic to that, but also the nagging worry that the pitches Pakistan want and the pitches Pakistan get bear little relation to each other. Starting every game on a six-day old pitch doesn’t feel sustainable, and the tongue-in-cheek asides that Rawalpindi should stage an impromptu four-day knockabout to ensure the surface is just the right amount of dilapidated are, for now, just that. But then so, this time last week, was the possibility that the Multan pitch be played on again, left to rot for so long it rose from the grave like a zombie, and just in time for Pakistan cricket to spring back to life with it.

There are still decisions to be made. One move could be to leave out Zahid Mahmood (six overs, 0-27, 2 and 0, thanks for coming) for one of Mir Hamza or Mohammad Ali, or even a recalled, refreshed Naseem. But that’s a quibble compared to the carnage after the first Test. The next selection meeting should be much smoother. Aleem can even copy Sarfaraz and join remotely if he wants. ‘You’re on screen now, you can stick with your original decisions.’ The charity sector’s loss might just be Pakistan cricket’s gain.

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