MS Dhoni is India’s most decorated white-ball captain, having won the famous treble – T20 World Cup in 2007, ODI World Cup in 2011 and Champions Trophy in 2013 – for his country. No other cricketer has been able to achieve this feat to date. While Dhoni decided to hang up his boots on August 15, 2020, he revealed that he had decided to retire after the heartbreaking 18-run loss against New Zealand in the 2019 World Cup.

“It gets difficult to control your emotions when you have lost a close game,” said Dhoni at a recent event in Bengaluru. “And inside, I had made my entire planning. To me, that was the last day I played cricket for India. I took retirement a year later but the fact is that, that day I had retired. We cricketers are given certain machines and all of that. So every time I went to the trainer I gave it back to him. He said ‘No you keep it. And in my mind, I am like ‘how do I tell him I won’t be needing or using it anymore’. I didn’t want to announce it at that point in time.”

Dhoni took the audience through his emotions during the moment when he fell short of his crease in his final match. According to him, he got flashbacks of his 15-year-long career and how he would cease to contribute to his nation as a cricketer.

“You are high on emotions. The only thing you’ve done in the last 12-15 years is play cricket. And then there is no more chance of you representing the country. There are so many people but only few get that opportunity. And sportspersons, they have that. Irrespective of which sport you play, you are representing your country. Be it the Commonwealth Games, or the Olympics. So once I quit cricket, there was no way I could do that. I could no longer bring any glory. All those things are going on in my mind.”

During the nail-biter in the last World Cup, Dhoni had the chance to steer India home after getting to 50. But as fate would have it, he finished his career the same way he started – he was run out on his debut versus Bangladesh in 2004 and in his last game versus New Zealand in the World Cup 2019 semi-final. India crashed out of the tournament after an 18-run defeat.