A rotten week for England fans but a block-buster week on social media. Peter Miller compiles the best cricket quotes, instas and tweets of the week – they’re not to be missed.

Ashes fix

Just hours before the Perth Test got underway there was a big splash on the front page of The Sun about an alleged plot to spot fix the third Ashes Test.

It didn’t take long for all of the cricketing authorities to play down any claims of corruption. The ICC were quick to minimise the story and the Cricket Australia boss, James Sutherland, was having none of it.

The match played out as many expected, with England being battered once again at a venue where they have only ever won once. There were some Twitterers who suggested you didn’t need help from dodgy bookmakers to tell you how the WACA Test would unfold.

Headbutts & hundreds

Once the cricket got under way there was hope – that sweet, sickly hope that always hurts England fans. It was provided by Dawid Malan, who made his maiden Test hundred, and Jonny Bairstow, who scored his fourth.

John Etheridge of The Sun was on hand to give us a Malan factoid.

When Bairstow was approaching his hundred, Wisden.com podcast host Vithushan Ehantharajah, suggested a celebration.

Every cricket fan was delighted when Bairstow delivered exactly that.

Speaking of things that happen at The Avenue in Perth, writer Will Macpherson did a review of the place where England players get themselves into trouble for The Times. No really, he did.

Steve Smith does Steve Smith things

It all went horribly wrong for England when the  Bairstow/Malan partnership was broken, as they lost six wickets for 35 runs before watching Steve Smith score 239 and the third best batsman in the Marsh family notch 181.

As far as Smith goes, this was all very familiar, as Pat Cummins pointed out.

Aussie Dan Liebke had a suggestion for how best to combat Smith.

Now that is a good tweet. In fact, it was so good, Michael Vaughan tried to claim credit for it on Instagram a short while later.

This is the field I would have for Steve Smith … #Ashes

A post shared by Michael vaughan (@michaelvaughan) on

After Marsh made that maiden Test ton, he was joined on the outfield by his brother and his dad for a lovely family photo. This caption isn’t all that impressive though. You could have a photo of Smith on his own – he has more than twice as many as the whole Marsh clan.

We all take away different things from these big partnerships.

Alastair Cook could only watch and admire the impressive stand, but still made an appearance during the BT Sport round-up.

Ball of the century?

James Vince made a tidy 55 in England’s second innings, before Mitchell Starc bowled him a ball that was simply unplayable.

Geoffrey Boycott was very critical of how Vince played the shot, insisting if he had a straighter bat he might not have been bowled. This did not go down well on Twitter.

Jimmy Neesham summed it up nicely.

Pitch given the hairdryer treatment

Before England succumbed to an inevitable defeat they thought they might get a stay of execution when the covers blew off the pitch and resulted in wet patches on a length.

An almost three-hour delay resulted and Twitter came into its own.

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