The atmosphere at Lord’s at the start of a day’s play usually resembles a residual buzz interspersed with the odd pop of champagne corks or screech of plastic film being peeled back off a punnet of Kalamata olives. Sometimes the most ear-piercing shriek is more likely to come as a result of cream chinos meeting a spillage of extra virgin rather than anything to do with leather on willow. This was a ‘People’s Monday’ though so the punters who had hoovered up twenty quid tickets to see the end of this pulsating game play out were less likely to be repressed by the usual blue blazered reserve. A more highly charged session you’d be hard pressed to find.

It was Mohammed Shami who first gave the Indian fans reason to yelp with delight but he wouldn’t be the last; this was an all-round team performance. The unbeaten ninth wicket partnership worth 89 vital runs between Shami and Jasprit Bumrah deflated England and left them scrabbling to keep a hand in the game. Joe Root, for all his batting brilliance had one of his worst sessions as captain, allowing the game to drift and appearing clueless in the face of ever-growing confidence from two of Test cricket’s biggest bunny rabbits. Root persisted with a defensive, deep-set field from the outset, Bumrah and Shami no doubt buoyed to see boundary riders prowling for little old them.

In truth, emotion got the better of England. Distracted by ‘needle’ and the damage was done. They went too short, more interested in leaving marks on Bumrah after the barrage of bouncers and verbals with Jimmy Anderson on Friday night. Shami and Bumrah were happy to receive such sighters and then swing merrily. Every moment at the crease they grew in confidence, every run they scored a laceration for England.

Bumrah, far from being cowed, actively wanted the strike – even after being clunked on the helmet a couple of times by Mark Wood. Shami was the more destructive of the two, smearing Moeen Ali consecutively for a four and then a soaring six to bring up his half century and stretch India’s lead past 250. Some chatter before had been about how long India’s tail was and how nosebleed-inducingly high Shami was batting at No.8. It was England who trudged off bloodied, the chance of a win razed, the prospect of being beaten looming large. Root was on his knees both symbolically and literally as Shami’s edge flew past him to the boundary and Kohli appeared in a plume of freshly spritzed cologne mist to declare the innings over. Seriously.

Root’s men had actually had the best of the early exchanges. India’s lead stood at 167 when Ollie Robinson induced a defensive tickle from the dangerous Rishabh Pant. Ishant Sharma persisted with some of the most incredible hacking you could wish to see, long hair and frenzied wielding in the mid-morning sunshine, Poldark scything a wasps nest.

Robinson produced a sumptuous knuckle-ball to do for him, the delivery floating down onto Sharma’s pad like a maple copter, barely a whisp over 60 miles an hour and bang in front. At this stage England would have been looking confidently to a sub-200 chase. They refused to even offer a furtive nibble on Kane Williamson’s carrot at the same ground earlier in the summer when the equation was 273 runs in 75 overs. Somehow they found themselves looking down the barrel of 272 in 60 overs. Most had already clocked that this was now only about one column, and it wasn’t the one with runs in it.

Rory Burns fell third ball to a leading edge and Dom Sibley turned on his heels to walk off after feathering one behind off Shami, the two men now torturing England in tandem with ball as well as bat. The openers both bagged ducks, the first opening pair to do so for England in a Test on home soil.

There’s a malodorous stench of mallard coming off England’s top order at the moment. They are quacking as much as creaking. In a curious case of Boggis, Bunce and Burns – the Surrey man has now bagged five ducks in 12 Test innings this year. Nearly half his knocks have ended in nowt, and he’s currently the next best performing batter after Root in the team. Between him and Sibley they have nine ducks in 2021, the same number as Alastair Cook ‘managed’ in his entire Test career. At around the same time as both openers departed news wafted round the press box that Cook had brought up his 32,000th career run whilst batting for Essex in the Royal London Cup, the landmark appearing like a grubby fingered toddler grasping at the hem of England’s fraying batting. Shhh! Not now Alastair, not now.

Hameed walked out to bat on a king pair, his first innings dismissal somewhat cruelly being played on the big screen as he did so. He busied himself by whirling his arms and shadow batting forward defensives before taking an age to mark out his guard. An electric passage followed, dropped by Rohit Sharma at second slip off Shami in and amongst some sound judgement and soft-handed defence as Ishant Sharma repeatedly scuttled the ball past the off stump. Sharma then ducked one into his pads and it was over.

Root had come to the crease with the score on 1-2. Again he showed his class. A clip off his legs here, a glance for four there. He played a swivel pull off Bumrah that skimmed Michael Gough’s toes at square leg, the umpire momentarily doing an impression of a man who had trodden on a dogs tail in a beer garden. You sensed him and Bairstow had to be there at the end for England to wriggle to Headingley still even.

Sharma snared Bairstow on the stroke of tea, the ball clipping his front pad and then thudding into back knee, Michael Gough proving he is actually a part of this celestial plain by getting one wrong. India had prised an end open and they knew it, jumping in the air with childlike glee as they headed off for their cucumber sandwiches. England’s tea interval would have been slightly more ginger, lashings of silent self loathing. Worse was to come.

First over after tea Bumrah removed Joe Root, Kohli taking the catch at second slip and haring off, eyes ablaze. It was now a case of England trying to cling on in the lengthening shadows. The irrepressible Siraj then almost sealed it as he snatched two in two. Snicking off Moeen before snaring Sam Curran, it was he and not Hameed who ignominiously became the first man to chalk up a king pair at the Home of Cricket.

Would the light save England? Would it go to the wire? Would there be a Bilal Shafayat moment – a pink cheeked Dan Lawrence gambolling out clutching an unnecessary yet time hoovering pair of spare gloves? There was hopeful talk of Cardiff and Graham Onions but that soon fizzled out. Jimmy Anderson’s off stump was knocked back and Siraj wheeled away in celebration. England were left rueful, a game they could have won got away after they focused on the wrong fight.