England are ‘on tour’, the Dutch are partying, Chris Gayle’s whacking sixes and Virat Kohli’s on top of the world. All as it should be as Peter Miller celebrates another eventful week of cricket online.
It never rains, it pours (drinks)
Another week, another embarrassing moment for an Englishman in a bar in Perth. Last time England visited Western Australia it was Jonny Bairstow headbutting Cameron Bancroft. This time no Australians were involved, rather it was a member of the England Lions squad pouring a drink over the head of England’s greatest wicket-taker.
Ben Duckett has been given a big fine and banned from playing cricket for dousing James Anderson. Which means he will be in charge of the drinks for the rest of the tour…
“Ironically he’ll spend the rest of the tour mixing drinks. Let’s hope he delivers them to the players without throwing it all over them”
Gallows humour from @markbutcher72 regarding Ben Duckett’s punishment.#Ashes
? https://t.co/NI1sjtpg98 pic.twitter.com/2tLvDsSmp3— BBC 5 live Sport (@5liveSport) December 11, 2017
Mike Selvey, formerly of England, Test Match Special and the Guardian, knows a thing or two about Perth. His biggest concern was how much the drink that ended up on Jimmy’s head cost.
If they can afford to pour drink away at what I remember to be Perth prices then more fool them.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) December 9, 2017
At $15 a pint he has a point.
This social media round-up doesn’t believe that social media is the issue here, and it is great to see Michael Vaughan agreeing with that sentiment.
“It winds me up when I hear social media is the problem”
“Social media didn’t punch someone in the street in Bristol”@MichaelVaughan with some hard-hitting home truths about this England team…#NoFilterAshes pic.twitter.com/Q0yGpa5fX7
— The Ashes on BT Sport (@btsportcricket) December 12, 2017
The man to feel the sorriest for in all of this is the brilliantly taciturn Trevor Bayliss. The England coach was back out in front of the assembled media to talk about something a player did in a bar in Perth, and this time the player isn’t even in his squad. He was talking about something that he simultaneously described as both “trival” and “totally unacceptable”. To quote Kay Burley, you could see “sadness in his eyes”.
“It’s simply unacceptable”. Here’s angry England coach Trevor Bayliss trying to explain his team’s latest controversy in Perth… pic.twitter.com/sYGIC0r243
— Dan Roan (@danroan) December 9, 2017
Jonathan Liew, the Chief Sports Writer for the Independent and Wisden columnist, summed it all up quite well with his tweet.
Ben Duckett pouring a beer over James Anderson’s head. I know I’m a journalist and supposed to care about these things, but in this case I genuinely couldn’t give the tiniest shit.
— Jonathan Liew (@jonathanliew) December 9, 2017
Kevin Pietersen was dropped the last time England toured Australia, allegedly for crimes as severe as looking out the window. To say he is enjoying all of this is an understatement.
????!
What the hell is happening in English Cricket?!?!
Strauss????? It’s becoming a f*****g embarrassment! https://t.co/IF1nz84lo8— KP (@KP24) December 9, 2017
Cook is Cooked?
Away from antics in the hostelries of Western Australia, there is some cricket going on and England are in trouble. They haven’t won in Perth since 1978, and that was against a side weakened by World Series Cricket defections. They need to win to keep this series alive.
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There has been some focus on Alastair Cook in recent days, not least because the England opener is about to play his 150th Test. Both Pietersen, who definitely doesn’t have an axe to grind, and Mitchell Johnson have been saying he is on his way out.
Cook doesn’t see it that way. “The people who are saying that have had no contact time with me. It’s just filling column inches,” Cook said.
Our very own Ed Kemp points out here that Cook loves a ton to silence the critics.
Loved talking through Cook's batting career with him a year-and-a-bit back. Interesting to look back on. He does enjoy a return-to-form ton… https://t.co/S7EpisD8sM
— Ed Kemp (@Ed_Wisden) December 12, 2017
There is other cricket…
Away from the Ashes, the Netherlands have won the World Cricket League and booked themselves a place in the new 13-team ODI league. The #scenes when they won were great to watch.
Here it is, the moment @KNCBcricket became #WCLC champions! Incredible scenes! ? pic.twitter.com/HhnkXaUgIP
— ICC (@ICC) December 6, 2017
In Bangladesh, Chris Gayle scored a hundred in the Eliminator match and followed it up with another one in the final. He hit more than 10 sixes in both innings, something he has done 15 times in a T20 innings. No other batsman has done that more than three times. In that innings in the final he hit EIGHTEEN sixes breaking his own world record.
Here is a video of the first of those hundreds.
Instagram of the week
Forgive us for being a bit schmaltzy here, but this photo of Virat Kohli celebrating his marriage to Anushka Sharma is adorable.