THE FRUSTRATED GIRLFRIEND

“It’s not a summer holiday if it’s in April,” she snarls. “I
 don’t care if it’s on Groupon!” Ah, the annual plight of the club cricketer’s girlfriend. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you, but needs to realise she’s not the only love in your life. Regardless of her hatred of cricket – your first love – you want to marry this woman. You really do. 
You’re going to propose. You haven’t been more
 confident about getting down on one knee since you
 played that sweep shot in last year’s cup final. Sure, it
 ended in an lbw and sparked an infamous collapse
 that squandered your club’s first chance of 
silverware in two decades, but we’ll forget
 about that. It should be fine this time. Yeah. It
 should be fine…

BOOZY SUSIE

Joy of joys, you both play! Whether you’re both fully fledged players or one of you is just being über supportive, it’s perfect to have someone to net with, right? To chat technique, to dissect that problem you’ve got – you know the one when you’re just not quite bracing that front leg – or to think about field placements while sat on the sofa… it’s the dream. But then, you get a bit competitive in that game of indoor cricket and next thing you know one of you is sleeping on the sofa.