Ben Gardner considers an ICC rankings promotion that wasn’t quite for New Zealand, and wonders how close they really are to the summit of the world game.
That it took so long to emerge as a storyline of interest should have been the first clue that something was amiss. It was only before the start of play on day four of the second Test that people began to suggest that if New Zealand won the second Tests against West Indies they would go top of the ICC’s Test rankings for the first time in their history, and as soon as that rumour started to rumble came the counter whispers, the murmurs of discontent: Could plucky little New Zealand really be the best Test side in the world?
The short answer, as often seems to be the case when it comes to the Blackcaps and global summits is: nearly, but not quite. A technical fault in the ICC’s official rankings predictor showed them, until a week or so ago, as leapfrogging Australia with a 2-0 series win over the Windies, when, in actuality, the pair remain separated by a fraction of a decimal point. Or the barest of margins, if you will. But clearly New Zealand aren’t far off, and should they beat Pakistan, and Australia and India draw their superpower struggle, then Kane Williamson and his band of brothers will indeed go top of the rankings for real.
This, for many, will still be unsatisfactory, but for reasons that are hard to pin down and more based on emotion than logic. New Zealand’s away record holds up as well as anyone’s; a draw in Sri Lanka and a victory in the UAE are each better than Australia’s last results in those countries. And while their home dominance might be less in-your-face than Australia’s, if anything it’s more complete; New Zealand haven’t lost a Test in Aetearoa in three and a half years, whereas you only have to go back to 2019, and India’s last visit, to find Australia’s last home reversal. If that heavyweight bout between India and Australia does end without a clear winner, is it not fair that the worthy challenger be given their time with the crown?
New Zealand’s preferred method is the quiet stuffing. It’s not the Australian-style humiliation-thrashing, more ritual sacrifice than competitive sport, with gladiatorial batsmen piling up gluttonous mountains in vast colosseums while crowds, baying for blood, cheer and jeer in equal measure; touring teams leave not just with their hopes in tatters, but with their plans for the future and the careers of their greats torn asunder too.
Instead, in front of murmuring, bucolic grass banks, the Kiwis dab and glance their way to match-winning totals before decimating line-ups with polite, precise swing bowling, while Neil Wagner provides some cartoon menace. Then they’ll share a beer, pat you on the back, tell you what a good game you gave them, and send you on your way. If they weren’t so genuinely nice, it would be positively dastardly.
Still, some of the scepticism is understandable. It’s hard to take New Zealand seriously as challenger to Australia’s throne when it’s almost impossible to conceive of them actually beating Tim Paine’s team, home or away. It’s eight years, eight Tests and seven defeats since the Blackcaps last tasted victory over Australia, and when they got their big chance, last year’s away series which included a thoroughly deserved MCG Boxing Day Test, they fluffed their lines, defeated by at least 200 runs in every game and barely landing a punch throughout.
And then there’s the rankings themselves, with the MRF Tyres-sponsored tiering system now increasingly obsolete, the obfuscated algorithm replaced in spirit by the fair and easy to understand – OK, it’s cricket, these things are relative – World Test Championship. In a way, it would be very New Zealand to top the table at the very moment everyone stops caring about the table altogether.
But it’s also that new competition that might offer New Zealand the chance to truly assert their value. Should India get thumped by Australia, or fail to whitewash England, then a place in the WTC final, against the Aussies, beckons.
And maybe away from those Antipodean shores, which add five runs to Australian batting averages and take five off their bowlers, they’ll finally have a chance. English pitches are among the world’s fairest; should New Zealand win at Lord’s, there can be no qualms. But on neutral turf, without the baggage of Australian defeats home and away, a third global final in six years might give them the perfect chance to erase the heartache and confirm themselves as not just the world’s current best Test side, but the pre-eminent all-format side of the era. Or they’ll lose it on a technicality, smile wryly, shrug it off, and begin another quiet assault on the world’s peak.
